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Friday, March 17, 2006

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+ murasakii yosei @ 5:48 PM


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Monday, November 14, 2005

Hmmm, I wonder if it makes me become one of those people who hop on the "blog about xiaxue and you get hits" bandwagon.

I've been reading her stuff since last year, and I've read all her old stuff too. I liked her old entries, albeit mundane, but the humour injected into her posts (mocking at the situation) was funny. She got famous, people got jealous, and her automatic reaction was to unleash her fury. Some laughed at it, some didn't.

Then it became some kind of habit - she writes anything, people pick on everything. All of a sudden, her style of writing becomes a point of discussion, her actions became some form of major issue.

She got famous.

People didn't like the fact that she, for a while, represented the whole Singapore blogosphere.

"She isn't that good anyway, why is she so famous?"

INDIGNATION!!! (Sorry, private joke.)

Her reply was "So what I'm not good, I'm famous. EAT THAT!"

I don't like her attitude towards people. But neither do I like the attitude those who swore to chatise her every action.

Somehow, her ranting became serious. She was not allowed to rant on her blog anymore. Her words of anger became serious words, for people to attack and think they understand her through her ranting.

Actually, her blog was funny because it was ranting - albeit brainless, but quite funny.

But it's no longer so. Because people start to take everything she says seriously, and attack her on everything, she strikes back - in true Xiaxue personality. Words of anger gets taken seriously and the whole thing just degrades and gets out of hand.

Hate sites are set up. OMG.

Any sign of her contradicting herself is picked on, her blog was no longer her haven, a place for her to rant on daily events. I;ve seen people laugh at her, bitching about her earlier entries on the few guys she liked.

Now, what's wrong with liking people? What's wrong with failed attempts at relationships?

I am not sure about you, but I rant a lot on my other blog. There was even an entry on how jealous I was of a friend and how I hated her, because the guy I loved chose her.

There are pleas for people to leave the "Dawn Yeo" alone - whether or not plastic surgery, whether or not truth was told, seriously, was her choice. We can feel cheated, we can dislike it, but why should that affect our lives so much that we should swear undying hatred for her? Lying or not is her choice, it's her attitude towards herself, and eventually, she'll reap what she sow.

Now, why not leave Xiaxue alone? If she really sucks as much as you think, nothing in the world can keep her up there for long. However, if she doesn't but your obscurely twisted mind does, and continues to harrass her day in day out... wouldn't that make you smaller than who you really are?

Take a step back and relax.

+ murasakii yosei @ 11:38 PM


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Tuesday, October 04, 2005

It's a case of envy.

A lot of people always say that being born the youngest is good - no responsibilities, lots of love from your elders, never have to worry about money... etc.

I won't envy being the eldest - hey I'm not nuts, I can see it's bad.

But I don't like it when people say as though the youngest live their life in a rose garden, with people carefully picking away the thorns for you.

Maybe some do, but some don't. I know I'm not like that. I'm stuck being youngest - my words never has an importance in family matters, I'm meant to obey and not talk back, I'm meant to stay at home when the rest go out AND if I don't do any of above, I'm a selfish spoilt brat.

Don't some of you have that image in your mind - that image of the youngest child, using his/her sweetest voice and her pouty face to get everything his/her way?

In some ways, I'm glad I'm not the eldest - so I got into University; but in a lot other ways, I wish I am not the youngest. My family never take my words seriously, and if I'm serious, they say I can't take a joke. Sometimes I feel as though I'm a toy for my eldest siblings, with jokes at my expense, physically pushing me around, and of course, ordering me around. "Go down and buy this for me." I can't say no at all.

Yeah, maybe I'm just too obedient.

I'm forever catching up with my elder siblings... they earn $4000, I earn $2000...

No one gives me respect for what I do, like seriously. "Why is the network down? Come back and fix it!" Partially, because they don't understand what I do, like being a clan leader in mud to them is just a game I can put down when I want. Nothing I do is important. "Do this right now!" "Later can?" "NO! NOW!!!"

People give me that "you're so lucky" look when I tell them I'm the youngest. Me being the youngest has no bearing on my life experiences, because eventually, I'll still have to be independent and strike it out my own - duh?

And the fight for independence is never ending. First they tell me I should be independent, then they tell me I'm still a kid. MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

** Stop envying someone else, and look for something positive in your life! **

As for me, I'll be content being youngest, because I accept the good and the bad, and acknowledge the fact that I can't change it.

I just wish my sister will get it too. Too bad this blog is secret.

+ murasakii yosei @ 11:28 PM


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Friday, September 30, 2005

I used to have this handwritten journal. I burnt it eventually, because I couldn't deal with what was inside. Like a standard angsty teenager, I wrote about anger, hatred, and for some reason, romance. Must be too much Chiong Yao.

I wrote about how I hated my classmates and my teachers.

I wrote about how hurt I was when the person I loved fell for my best friend instead.

I wrote about how hurt I was when the person I loved (next) had led me on, but wasn't really interested in me after all.

I think if I put it online, I'd hurt too many people. I did have an online journal (which I am not url-ing it here), nor am I one of those who rushed into online "blogging" for trends. I'm one of those who started blogging around late 1990s. Anyway, I remember putting just a single entry in that journal about the intense hurt and jealousy I felt everytime I met my friend and him, and the result was the chastisement by another friend on how hurtful that entry was, blah blah blah.

I think he missed the point entirely, because I wasn't against my friend, but it was a rant entry. Ranting, psychologically, helps relieve stress, and frankly speaking, holds no intellectual value.

Now the trend of blogging has caught on - so many people have started writing about their daily life, and their deepest thoughts, seeking some relief either from ranting, or words of encouragement from strangers.

"I just need someone to understand my difficult situation now."

For some reason, like my friend, people are missing the point entirely. A student got suspended for writing bad about his teacher. Another one got warned for writing about a fellow classmate.

I think this list will be quite long.

Instead of asking "why?", people went into "this is bad and must be stopped" using "let's punish them so that they won't do that anymore".

I'm not sure why that teacher didn't ask himself, or the student, why he/she was hated, but instead, let the principal suspend the student. Doesn't he know this is not gonna solve matters (he will STILL hate you), and make it worse?

Like I got angry at my friend for a while for not understanding, I'm sure the student will STILL hate the teacher for not reflecting. He might be a problematic student - shouldn't teachers try to understand him (sometimes listening is all you need to do)?

You might say I have no experience with problematic students, nor understand the stressful life every teacher has to handle. I just feel there are other ways to solve this issue rather than outright banning students from blogging their thoughts.

I feel that anything said in the fit of anger has no value at all. It is NOT meant to be taken seriously.

Counselling, actually, I feel is a rather nice solution, IF it's meant to find out why, as opposed to treating the child as though he/she's got attitude problems.

+ murasakii yosei @ 2:11 AM


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